


The One with Patty's Wedding

by holtzbabe



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: AND Erin Thinks-She-Can-Speak-Spanish Gilbert, Excessive Drinking, F/F, F/M, HEAVILY inspired by Friends, IT'S THE FIC I'VE BEEN SO EXCITED ABOUT, but also it's about Patty's wedding so, featuring:, maybe some bad decisions, more directly in some scenes than others, set near Playa del Carmen, so does formal-wear, sun exposure really brings out the gay in these guys, this is very Holtz/Erin centric because it's me, water sports
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-25
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-10 14:24:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10439628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holtzbabe/pseuds/holtzbabe
Summary: It's the first Ghostbusters wedding, and Patty's decided to go big. With all-inclusive drinks at their disposal, romance in the air, and 1,600 miles and an international border separating them from New York, there's no telling what's gonna go down during this week long wedding-vacation.And that's part of the fun, right?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO FRIENDS! Boy am I ever excited to post this fic!!! As I mentioned in the tags, this is heavily inspired by Friends (and directly quotes dialogue in some scenes). I've already finished writing, but I'm gonna post on a schedule and stretch it out. I'm entering into the last three weeks of my degree (!!!) and I'm gonna be insanely busy, but I want to make sure you get new content regularly! So stay tuned every Wednesday and Saturday for new chapters.
> 
> ANYWAY, I reeeaaaaaaally hope you like this as much as I do, because I haven't been able to stop freaking out about it since I got the idea! Oh! Also! I spent a loooot of time on Pinterest planning outfits for this fic, so you'll see links embedded throughout. Viewing them isn't required but encouraged :)

This story starts about a year after they saved the world, when Patty goes on a date with an unnamed man. This isn’t unusual. She goes out at least once a week, sometimes more. Sometimes they last for a few more dates, sometimes several months stretch out before it ends, but most times there’s one night of fun and it’s over. Sometimes the others hear about them the next day, sometimes they don’t.

Patty comes in to work the morning after this particular date whistling, and she doesn’t whistle. She drops her purse on the table.

“I just met the man I’m going to marry,” she says. “His name is Derrick.”

 

She waits and lets Derrick catch up to her. They date for a year and a half, then move in together. After another six months, he takes her to the restaurant where they first met, holds her hands across the table, and says he thinks he wants to spend the rest of his life with her.

“Finally,” she says. “Now show me the ring.”

 

The other ’busters gather around Patty and ooh and ah over the glinting diamond on her left hand.

“The first Ghostbusters wedding!” squeals Abby.

A pang goes through Erin.

“Y’all will be my bridesmaids, right?”

“Yes!”

“Hell yep,” Holtzmann says. “I’ll even wear a dress. Only for you, Patty.”

“You don’t have to wear a dress. I’d rather you didn’t.”

“Oh, thank god.”

“Congratulations, Patty,” Erin says, her throat tight for reasons she can’t explain. “I’d love to be a bridesmaid. Any ideas on when or where the wedding will be?”

Patty laughs. “Ideas? Baby, I got the whole thing figured out already.”

Abby grins. “Does Derrick know you’ve already planned it all?

“Derrick’s marrying me. He _better_ know.”

They all laugh.

“Seriously, though, mark your calendars. How does April sound?” Patty grins. “…In Mexico?”

The rest of them cheer. Abby bounces up and down. “Oh my god, really?”

“Oh!” Erin claps. “I’ll get to use my Spanish! _Horabuena por tu buida_ , Patty!”

Holtz makes a face. Patty shakes her head.

 

Patty secures a venue at a resort near Playa del Carmen, and the rest of them book their tickets. She eventually tells Derrick. She also informs the mayor’s office that the entire team will be gone for a week, which he’s pissed about, but she tells him to shove it (in nicer words than that).

 

They go dress shopping: the four of them and Patty’s sister, Cynthia, who’s the maid of honour. Patty tries on dress after dress after dress.

“You’re too picky,” Cynthia says. “Pick a damn dress.”

“Shut your damn mouth. It’s my day, and I’m gonna look perfect.”

“You ain’t gonna look _perfect_ if you end up wearing a garbage bag because you couldn’t pick a damn dress.”

“Shut the fuck up, Cynthia.”

Turns out, they have a kind of love-hate banter thing going. More hate than love.

Holtz is upside down with her legs over the back of the couch they’re squished onto. Erin turns to her while Patty disappears into the back to try on another dress.

“Doesn’t that give you a headache?”

“It’s good for circulation.”

“It makes it look like you’re bored.”

“I _am_ bored.” Holtzmann presses a thumb to her temple. “ _Shopping_ ,” she says, unfiltered disgust colouring her voice.

“You’ll upset Patty with that attitude.”

“She’s right,” Abby says from where she’s paging through a bridal magazine on Holtz’s other side.

“Okay, okay, okay.” Holtz twists and swings her legs down, nearly clipping the side of Erin’s head in the process, and lands with her feet in Erin’s lap and her head in Abby’s.

Abby lifts the magazine out of her way. “Really?”

“Guys,” Patty says as she steps out from the dressing room with her redheaded consultant behind her.

Holtz hears the sharp intakes of everyone’s breath. Her jaw drops and she struggles herself upright to properly take it in.

“Oh, Patty,” Erin says.

Patty wipes a tear from her eye. Cynthia bounds over from the couch and tackles her. “That’s it, isn’t it?”

“You look beautiful,” Abby says.

Holtz unhooks her glasses to take a better look. “Stunning, Patty. Stunning.”

“It’s the one,” Patty confirms.

 

They take a lunch break at a nearby diner and cram into a booth, Patty and Cynthia on one side, Abby, Holtz, and Erin on the other.

“Holtz, you’re sitting on me,” Erin says. She tries to wiggle her way closer to the window, but she’s already butted up against the edge.

“I don’t mind.”

“ _Holtz._ ”

“What do you want me to do? Abby’s in my way.”

“I’m hanging off the edge,” Abby confirms.

“Is she sitting on you too?”

“Actually, there’s a good inch of space between us.”

“ _Holtzmann_.”

“What? Your thigh is comfy.”

“My thigh is going _numb_.”

“Wimp.”

“Holtzmann, move.”

“I like it when you’re bossy.” Holtz blows a kiss and scooches so she’s no longer on Erin’s leg.

“Was that so hard?” Erin says. Her thigh tingles where Holtz was touching it. Probably from trying to wake back up.

 

They head back to the bridal salon, to the bridesmaid department this time.

“I want purple,” Patty says. “Other than that, knock yourself out.”

“You don’t want them to be matching?” Erin asks. “Won’t that look, I don’t know…disorganized?”

“Purple. Same fabric.”

“But not matching?” She sounds like the thought makes her anxious. It probably does.

“Why should you look like clones? None of y’all are built the same way, so different dresses are gonna look good on you. ’Sides, Holtzy’s not even wearing a dress.”

Holtz salutes. “What _am_ I wearing? Or do you want to give me free reign too? That could be dangerous.” She taps her finger on her chin and contemplates that.

“Purple,” Patty repeats.

“How do you feel about feathers?”

“Lord. Consult with Derrick if you want some direction.”

“Righty-o, boss.”

The other women are combing through the racks. Holtz stretches out on the couch to watch them. Patty comes over and lifts her feet up to sit underneath.

“Erin, no turtlenecks.”

Erin looks back at Patty. “It’s not—”

“Put it back.”

“I’m self-conscious about my collarbones,” Erin mutters.

“You have beautiful collarbones,” Holtzmann pipes up.

Erin touches them. “Really?”

“Really really.”

Erin hmms and turns back to the dresses.

 

“That’s them, ladies,” Patty says, and claps her hands together excitedly.

Holtz appraises the three women, [lined up in the dresses](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/338825571951937025/) they’ve chosen. [Abby’s](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/338825571951936998/) is the lightest purple, short with straps that go up and around into a bow at the back of her neck, and she’s wearing a matching jacket-thingie. [Cynthia’s](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/338825571951888629/) is darker, more pinky, and long. It’s got some sort of one-strap situation happening in the front.

And Erin—[Erin’s](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/338825571951882691/) is the darkest purple, more form fitting than the others. She tugs nervously at the hemline and smooths the dress down over her hips where it hugs them. It’s got a fairly modest neckline, well, maybe not for Erin. Regardless, she looks hot. Holtz lets out a wolf-whistle.

“How am I gonna compete with this?” she says. “Patty, were you a firm no on the feathers, or can I put you down as a maybe?”

“No feathers.”

Holtz’s eyes trail back and land on Erin. “Damn. Back to the drawing board.”

 

Holtzmann consults Derrick on what him and his groomsmen are wearing, and builds an outfit that she thinks complements everyone’s attire. She shows it to Patty for her stamp of approval.

“You’re not wearing that hat. Everything else is great, but you’re not wearing that hat anywhere near my wedding.”

“Fair.”

 

April draws closer. Everyone’s dresses come in, and they go for fittings. Holtzmann doesn’t come; she says she’s had enough shopping to last her until next winter, at least.

The dresses all need minor alterations, but they look good.  They find shoes, simple gold sandals that will hold up well in the sand.

Patty revels in the fact that the resort does most of the planning, including décor.

“None of that Pinterest mason jar shit for me, thanks,” she says.

Patty refuses an offered bridal shower. They reinforce gender role bullshit. As long as they have a kickass bachelorette party, that’s all she cares about.

Cynthia plans for a bachelorette party for their first full day at the resort.

“Bitch, it’s gonna be an entire day of drinking and bad decisions,” she says.

“Bitch, you’d better deliver,” Patty replies.

 

The week before they’re set to fly out, the Ghostbusters get together with members of the NYPD on the off-chance there’s a ghost emergency while they’re out of the country. Holtzmann leaves them some simple, idiot-proof tech to use, mostly proton grenades. Those require the least accuracy and skill.

The whole team will be gone for a week, and Patty’s staying behind for another week after that for her honeymoon.

Patty spends the days leading up to their departure on the phone, sorting out everything from family drama to a last-minute screw-up with her dress.

The night before they leave, they lock up the firehouse and set up an answering machine message directing the public to a special NYPD ghost hotline set up for the occasion. Then they part ways for the night.

 

They all meet up at their gate at the airport. Erin gets there first, followed by Patty and Derrick, then Abby with Kevin. She was in charge of picking him up to make sure he made it to the airport on time.

Someone should’ve done the same for Holtzmann. It’s half an hour before boarding is set to begin, and Holtz still hasn’t shown up. The anxiety-bubbles are starting to simmer in Erin’s stomach.

She’s one minute away from calling when Holtz finally strides up to the gate.

“Were you planning on arriving five minutes before the plane took off?” Erin asks Holtz as relief seeps through her.

Holtz shrugs. “Wouldn’t have left without me.”

“Yes, it absolutely would have, Holtzmann. The plane doesn’t operate on your schedule.”

“You’re too naggy for this early in the morning.”

“It’s 10:00.”

“I’m on _vacation_. Leave me alooooone.”

“Who’s getting married, again?” Abby stage-whispers.

 

“Are we there yet?”

Erin sighs. “Shush and stop squirming, Holtz.”

Abby leans over in the seat in front of Holtzmann to glare through the crack. “I second that. Stop kicking the back of my seat.”

“I’m bored and it’s cramped, what do you expect me to do?”

“Sit still?” Erin suggests. “Look at the scenery?”

“It’s just clouds.”

“I don’t know what to tell you.”

“I want to walk out on the wing.” Holtz presses her hand against the small oval window.

“Please don’t.”

“Betcha I could get out and back without anyone noticing.”

“I’m not engaging in this conversation anymore,” Erin says, then twists to the other side of her seat to talk to Kevin instead. “Hey, Kevin.”

“Hey, boss. Did you know they have movies in the seats? Where do they come from?”

“Uh…satellites,” Erin says.

“They don’t have my favourite movie,” he says sadly.

“What’s that?”

“Ghostbusters.”

“Kevin, that’s not…that’s not a movie.”

“It’s not?”

“That’s our name. Did you confuse our name with the title of another movie?”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

Kevin shrugs.

“…Right.” Erin shakes the conversation from her head. Wouldn’t be the weirdest one she’s ever had with him. “Sooo, Kevin.”

“Yeah, boss?”

“I don’t have a date for this wedding.”

Holtz leans all the way over, literally butting her head into the conversation. “Does anybody, though? It’s a destination wedding and we’re all single. Not exactly the type of shindig you bring a casual acquaintance to. Unless they’re super rich.” Her forehead crinkles. “I should’ve invited Pricilla van Doofenshmirtz the Third. Or Henrietta du Blarblahbloo.” She slaps her knee. “Or Ned!”

Erin gently pushes Holtz’s head out of her personal space. “ _Anyway_ ,” she says, “I still wish I had a date.”

Kevin seems to have checked out.

Erin sighs. “Kevin?”

“Yeah, boss?”

“Do you want to be my date to the wedding?”

“What wedding?”

“Patty’s wedding? The one we’re all flying to right now?”

“Oh! That one! Aren’t you going with Holtzmann?”

Erin blinks. “Why would I be going with Holtzmann?”

“I don’t know,” Kevin says.

“Aren’t you technically paired up with one of the groomsmen?” Holtz says.

“Aren’t you technically supposed to shut up?” Erin fires back.

Holtz finger-guns her.

“So, Kevin, date?”

“Sure thing, boss.”

Erin settles back in her seat, content.

Holtz taps on the glass of the window. “I think I can see my mom from here.”

 

The six of them walk through the airport, dragging their luggage behind them, in the direction of the shuttle bus that’ll take them directly to the resort.

“ _Esto emoción_ ,” Erin says excitedly as they walk.

Holtz side-eyes her.

Erin fans herself. “ _Y es calado_.”

“I don’t think that’s the right word,” Holtz says.

“What do you know about Spanish? _Tomo clases en escuelos secunda_.”

Holtz rolls her eyes. “ _Soy fluido en español, para su información. Y tú, querida, ni siquiera eres pasable_.”

Erin frowns. “What?”

Holtz smirks.

 

The resort is massive and gorgeous. It’s everything that Patty hoped it would be. They all check in, get wrist-banded, and set off for their rooms with the promise to meet up at the buffet in a few hours for dinner.

Abby and Holtzmann are splitting a room. Erin’s by herself in hers, which seems sad to Patty, but she says she’s always been one to need alone-time. They’re in the same section, just a few doors down from one another.

Patty takes Derrick and goes to hunt down her family members who have flown in already. Cynthia came in with her wife and daughter a few days before. Her mom was supposed to land a few hours before her own plane touched down, so she should be around somewhere. The rest of her family and Derrick’s are also already checked in.

Derrick squeezes her hand as they walk across the resort and take in the pools, the bars, the beach. “You did good.”

“Of course I did,” she says.

She can already tell it’s going to be a hell of a trip.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Wednesday! This chapter is one of my faves, so I'm excited for you guys to read it! Enjoy :)

Holtz knocks frantically on the door of Erin’s room. The door swings open, revealing a frazzled-looking Erin, changed from her plane clothes into a tropical-patterned sundress.

“What? What’s wrong?” she asks, voice concerned.

Holtz slides past Erin into the room. “Nothing’s wrong. Ready to go? Abby already took off for the nearest bar, but I said it was rude to leave you here without telling you.”

“I still need to apply sunscreen.”

“Well, hurry up. Did you see the size of those _pools?_ ” Holtz flops down onto her back on the bed.

“Get off my bed. You’re messing it up.” Erin frowns and disappears into the bathroom.

“You are the ultimate buzzkill, you know that, right?”

Erin pokes her head out of the bathroom, with a blob of sunscreen on her cheek. “I’m not a _buzzkill_. I just don’t understand why you aren’t messing up your _own_ bed.”

“The night is still young,” Holtz replies with a suggestive wiggle of her eyebrows.

Erin groans and ducks back into the bathroom. “I need a drink.”

“Then let’s get shakin’! By the time you finish with that nonsense, the sun will have _set_.”

“You heard Patty. None of us ‘pasty folk’ are allowed to look like tomatoes in her wedding photos.”

“That’s no fun.”

“Skin cancer is not a joke.”

“Live a little, Gilbert. We’re on vacation.”

Erin returns with her sunscreen blended in better. There’s still a little glob under her eye that she seems to have missed.

“I’m _trying_. I just don’t know how to relax.”

“I’ll help you out.” Holtz sits up and dangles her feet off the edge of the bed. “Come over here.”

Erin shoots her a look. “Can you go one minute without flirting?”

“Just come over here. You’ve got sunscreen under your eye.”

“Oh,” Erin says, clearly embarrassed, and walks over.

Holtz stands and reaches out with the pad of her thumb to swipe away the little bit of extra sunscreen. Her hand lingers on the side of Erin’s face for a moment, then she moves it to wipe the excess on Erin’s arm. “There. Now you look like you’re ready to have fun.”

Erin clears her throat. “Let’s go have some fun, then.”

 

By the time dinner rolls around, Holtzmann’s on her third beer and Erin can feel her second daiquiri loosening her up a little. They’ve explored around the resort, checked out the pools, the beach. They make their way to the buffet hall and find the rest of the gang. Patty introduces the rest of the Tolan clan, some of whom they’ve met before, and Derrick introduces his family as well.

Soon they’re all seated intermixed at a few tables. Erin ends up at a table with Patty’s aunt and uncle, Abby, and two of Derrick’s groomsmen. Patty’s uncle still seems to hold a grudge against them for the loss of his hearse, but Derrick’s groomsmen engage them in conversation. One of them, Jasper, is a colleague, and Randy’s a childhood friend.

Abby’s telling the story of a recent bust that ended with all of them covered in glitter. Erin is only half-listening as a burst of laughter at another table catches her attention.

Holtz (who has just about some of everything on her plate) is making bizarre faces at Patty’s niece, the source of the laughter. Erin can’t help but smile.

Abby wakes up the next morning to find Holtzmann with the TV half-assembled.

“What did you do?”

“I got bored,” Holtz whines. “And the picture was fuzzy.”

“You could’ve gone outside. Lots to do out there.” Abby rolls out of bed and shuffles towards the bathroom.

Holtz makes a non-committal noise.

“Well, I’m not paying for it when the resort charges us for a broken TV,” Abby calls through the closed bathroom door.

“It’ll be better than it was when I started, after I’m done with it,” Holtzmann calls back. Then she mumbles something that sounds a lot like: “Might emit a high-frequency noise, though.”

 

Erin dresses and meets the others for breakfast. Today’s the day of Patty’s bachelorette party, and Cynthia has an entire day of activities planned. They were all instructed to wear something comfortable and moveable, but bring along a change of clothes to party in later.

After they eat, they get into a cab at the front of the resort and Cynthia tells them they’re renting it for the day. Their driver, who introduces himself as Gerardo, has them all in tears of laughter within five minutes of leaving with his stories.

“ _Eres gráfico_ ,” Erin says.

“Wrong again,” Holtz mutters beside her.

Gerardo meets her eyes in the rear-view mirror. “ _¿Qué?_ ”

“Ignore her,” Patty says.

“She thinks she can speak Spanish,” Abby adds.

“I _can_ speak Spanish,” Erin says. “ _Gerardo pudo endenermo, ¿verdad?”_

“I could have _what?_ ” Gerardo says. “I do not know that word.”

“I…” Erin blinks. “Oh. Uh… _yo soy entendida_.”

Holtzmann chokes with laughter.

Erin turns to glare at her. “What?”

“It might be better if you don’t know the implications of what you just said.” Holtz pats Erin’s leg through her laughter. “It’s okay. Not everyone’s cut out for Spanish. _Quizás podrías probar el francés_.”

“Holtz, stop making stuff up to mess around with me.”

“ _Préférez-vous le dire en français?_ ”

“That’s not Spanish.”

“No, it’s not. _Nito e tova_.”

“How many languages do you speak, girl?” Cynthia asks.

“ _Fem_ fluently. English, Spanish, French, Bulgarian, and Danish. I’m learning Icelandic. ‘ _Mig langar til að kaupa epli_.’”

Erin gawks. “What?”

Holtz shrugs. “I have a photographic memory. Comes in handy. All I gotta do is read through a translation dictionary, learn about verb conjugations, and I’m pretty much covered.”

“Damn,” Patty says.

Erin crosses her arms and sinks into her seat, her face reddening.

 

Their first destination is the Coba Ruins. To say Patty is pumped is an understatement. She lives for this shit. They tour around the site and learn about fascinating Mayan history, and at the end they climb the main pyramid.

She looks behind her to see Erin struggling.

“If you can lug around a thousand pounds of busting equipment every day, you can haul your scrawny ass up a pyramid,” Patty says.

“It’s steep,” Erin complains.

“Shut up and keep moving,” Abby says from behind Erin.

They reach the top and admire the stunning view. Cynthia takes a few photos of the team together, and then another tourist takes a photo of all of them. They climb back down the ruins, sweaty in the intense heat.

“Thanks for this, Cyn. You delivered hardcore.”

“Oh, we’re just gettin’ started,” Cynthia replies.

 

Gerardo’s waiting in the air-conditioned cab for them when they exit the site and they continue on their way. They’re all hungry, so he directs them to a place to stop for lunch. After that, they drive back to Playa del Carmen to explore the town.

Soon, night falls, and they reconvene with Gerardo to get their changes of clothes from the van. He tells them to have fun, and says he’ll be around for when they’re ready to head back to the resort.

Dressed in their nighttime finest, the group makes their way to a popular club.

“I haven’t been clubbing in so long,” Erin shouts over the music.

“Old lady,” Holtz teases. “C’mon, let’s go get a drink.”

It doesn’t take long for all of them to get a buzz going, and soon they’re letting loose on the dance floor. After a while, Holtz loses track of how many drinks she’s had, how many any of them have had, and everything becomes a blur of lights and music and sweaty bodies.

Erin comes back from the bathroom and grabs for Holtz’s shoulder. “Holtz. Holtzmann.”

“Erin. Erinmann.”

Erin laughs like this is the funniest thing Holtz has ever said. Her hand slides from Holtz’s shoulder, down her chest and lands there. Someone bumps into her and she stumbles forward into Holtz. Holtz’s drink sloshes over the side.

She reaches out to steady Erin. “Easy there.” She’s pretty sure Erin is drunker than she is. Although, Holtz is pretty drunk too. Erin is a little blurry.

Erin’s fingertips creep across Holtz’s chest. “Asswipe,” she mutters, presumably about the guy who knocked into her. She takes hold of Holtz’s tie and tugs. She’s so close, still pressed against Holtz.

Someone taps on Holtz’s shoulder, and she turns her head to see a pretty girl in an electric blue dress giving her sex-eyes.

“Dance?” the girl says in her ear.

Holtz grins. She feels Erin’s grip on her tie loosen, and when she looks back, Erin is cutting her way through the crowd.

She dances with the girl. She dances with another girl. Hell, she even dances with a guy.

She makes out with one of the girls in a bathroom stall. The guy kisses her too, and she lets it go on for at least a minute before she remembers she doesn’t like guys.

 

Their night draws to a close somewhere between Patty screaming at the top of her lungs for the fourth time that she’s getting married (met with resounding cheers), and Abby doing shots while standing on top of the bar. They all stumble out to where they think they remember leaving Gerardo, although he isn’t there.

They must find him eventually, because Erin wakes up in the van to a rousing conversation between Patty, Cynthia, Abby and Gerardo. She’s not sure how she got there or when she passed out. Holtz is buckled in beside her, slumped completely into Erin’s side, out cold. She’s got her own name written in liquid eyeliner across her face, but it’s spelled ‘Holtsman.’ Erin giggles and wonders how it got there.

 

Holtz wakes up and she knows immediately that she’s still drunk. She’s sprawled out sideways across her bed, with her feet dangling off the edge, and she’s wearing only her underwear and an unbuttoned button-up. Where’d her bra go?

She hears groaning from the other bed and pushes herself upright to see Erin holding a hand to her forehead.

“What are you doing here?”

Erin flinches and looks surprised to see her. “I don’t know, but, uhh, Holtzmann…”

“What?”

“Your…” Erin gestures to her chest.

Holtz looks down at her exposed breasts. “Oh. Yeah.” She does one button up so it covers her up a bit more.

Abby emerges from the bathroom. “Well, you two look like hell.”

“Abby, why am I in your room?” Erin asks.

“Because you two are the lightest of lightweights and you were half-unconscious. We had to drag you two across the resort. Figured you’d be safer in here where I could make sure you didn’t choke on your own vomit.”

Holtz cocks her head. “Abs, the last thing I remember is you flashing the entire club while singing along to a Spanish song that you didn’t know the words to. How, in this scenario, did you end up the mom-friend?”

“I can handle my liquor better than you, that’s how. Patty, too. She carried you the last stretch, you remember that?”

“Not a bit.”

“She made the same joke three times about how she was supposed to be the one carried bridal-style.”

“She just straight-up carried me in her arms?”

“All the way from the snack-bar,” Abby confirms with a nod.

“Well, that’s something I wish I remembered,” Holtz says. She rolls off the bed and heads to the bathroom to pee, where she does a double-take at her own reflection. “Hey, guys? Why is there black shit smeared on my face?” She leans in close to the mirror.

From the other room, Erin starts laughing.

 

It’s the only day of the trip that they don’t have anywhere to be, which is prime for recovering from the bachelorette party. Holtz opts to keep the party rolling with a hair of the dog, but Erin decides she’s never drinking again and remedies her hangover with some vitamin D and a good book. She stretches out on one of the lounge chairs lining the beach.

The next thing she knows, something is touching her nose. She bolts upright and her book falls to the sand. When had she fallen asleep?

Holtzmann stands beside her chair with a smirk. She’s wearing yellow-tinted sunglasses, [pineapple-printed board shorts](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/338825571951937722/), and a surprisingly feminine bikini top. Some part of Erin’s sun-muddled mind notes that this is the second time she’s seen Holtz’s bare torso today. Her mouth is dry, and she attributes it to dehydration.

“Stop checking out my abs,” Holtz says. “Are you in or not?”

Erin moves her sunglasses to the top of her head. “In for what?”

Holtz sighs exaggeratedly. “You really _were_ out of it. I get it, I have that effect on people.” She shoves her hands in her pockets. “We need a fourth for Chicken. You want in? You look like you could use a dip in the pool.”

Erin _is_ getting pretty sweaty. “Sure, why not.”

 

Abby throws her fist in the air as she sees Holtz approaching with Erin. “We are going to _own_ you. Erin and I used to kill at this.”

“Granted, we were in high school and we only ever played against kids, but…”

Abby holds up a hand to silence Erin. “You guys are going down.”

Holtz stretches and swings her arms. “You sure about that?” She turns to Kevin. “Buddy, you _have_ played this before, right? You know what you have to do?”

“We got this,” Abby says to Erin.

Erin ties her hair up into a sloppy knot and cracks her knuckles. “Absolutely.”

They get into the pool and Erin climbs on top of Abby’s shoulders. “You solid up there?”

Erin adjusts herself. “I’m good!”

Abby tightens her grip on Erin’s legs.

Across from them, Holtz is stacked on top of Kevin, who looks a little lost.

“OnetwothreeGO!” Abby shouts and charges forward, sending water splashing everywhere. A middle-aged mom nearby glares at them.

“Cheater!” Holtz says. “Kevin! Move!”

The pairs reach each other and Holtz and Erin collide and grapple with each other. It seems like they’re a fairly equal match. Holtz is stronger, but Abby’s got a better grip than Kevin.

“Is that all you got?” Erin says.

“Stop touching my boobs,” Holtz replies.

“Stop getting distracted by it,” Erin fires back.

Abby cackles. “We’ve got an advantage! Keep exploiting the useless lesbian, Erin!”

“I am not a use—”

With one big heave, Erin manages to knock them off balance. Holtz windmills for a few comical seconds, then splashes into the water.

She comes up spluttering and shakes her sopping hair like a puppy. “I’m a useless lesbian.”

 

“Whatcha reading?” Holtz plunks herself down on the recliner beside Erin’s and kicks back with her arms over her head.

“A book,” Erin replies without looking up.

“Haven’t heard of that one.”

Erin sighs exaggeratedly.

Holtz closes her eyes and lets the sun’s rays soak into her skin. She can already feel the pool water evaporating.

They lie there quietly. Holtz is nearly dozing off when she hears Erin’s book slam shut. She opens one eye.

“Are you crying?”

Erin swipes at her eyes. “Sweating.”

“You’re crying. Why are you crying?”

“My book was sad.”

“Oh.” Holtz tugs at her bathing suit top. “Do you want ice cream?”

“Ice cream?”

“Cold. Tasty. Cures everything. Available at the snack bar.”

Erin hesitates. “Sure.”

Holtz sits up and grabs her shirt from where it’s crumpled in a ball and pulls it on. “Let’s go, then.”

“Right now?”

“Keep up, Gilbert.”

Erin sets her book down and reaches for a cover-up, which she puts on over her very modest, very Erin, blue one-piece suit.

They head to the snack bar and pile cones high with soft-serve from the machine. Erin, vanilla. Holtzmann, swirl.

They walk along the water while they eat them.

“God, it’s hot,” Erin says, squinting into the sun.

“Yeah, you are,” Holtz replies.

Erin rolls her eyes. “Doesn’t have the same effect as it does with ‘it’s beautiful.’”

Holtz winks.

 

Patty spends the day with her family, and catches up with her friends at dinner.

“Man, I haven’t seen y’all since yesterday. Have a good day?”

“Erin and I beat Holtz and Kev at Chicken Fight. It was awesome.”

“Erin cried at her book,” Holtzmann counters.

“Holtzmann saw a dog and got so excited she tripped and fell into the ocean,” Erin says.

“Erin saw Kevin shirtless and got so excited she tripped and nearly fell into the pool,” Holtz retorts.

“The deck was slippery! That had nothing to do with—Holtzmann!”

Holtz shrugs. “I just call ’em like I see ’em.”

“So…a good day, then?” Patty tilts her head.

“A great day,” Holtzmann confirms.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [In case you're wondering what Erin said in Spanish that caused Holtz to crack up.](http://www.moscasdecolores.com/en/lesbian-dictionary/spanish/entendida) I have no idea if or where or HOW it's used, but I like to think Holtz has memorized all the lesbian slang in every single language...just in case.
> 
> See you on Saturday for another new chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, now that I've posted my [April Fools themed prequel](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10517544) to this fic, and it's past noon in my timezone, I can post the ACTUAL third chapter! This is the chapter where we REALLY start borrowing heavily from Friends (a lot of the dialogue and plot is directly from Friends) and shit gets real.
> 
> I love this one a lot. I hope you do too!

The next day is the day of the rehearsal dinner. They spend the morning at the resort spa getting their nails painted, or at least everyone but Holtz. Instead, she walks around the spa and examines the rows of little coloured bottles.

“I changed my mind,” she calls over her shoulder. “Can I make my toes this colour?” She holds up the bottle of neon green.

Patty looks up from where a lady is working on her hands. “Are your wedding shoes open-toed?”

“Nope.”

“Then go for it.”

Soon, Holtz is stretched out in the chair beside Erin, with her feet in the tub in front of her. A guy rubs her feet. She looks over at Erin.

“This is weird,” Holtz whispers.

“What, getting a pedicure?”

“My feet have their own bathtub.” Holtz splashes her free foot for emphasis. The dude massaging her other foot looks annoyed.

“You know you have to sit still for a pedicure, right?” Abby says from her other side.

“Whaaaat?”

Erin laughs. “Your entire foot’s going to end up green.”

 

After the group is all mani-pedi’d up, they eat lunch and go over their plans for the afternoon. Patty reminds them that they have to be at the ceremony site by 6:00 for the rehearsal. She departs with Cynthia to go hunt down their scattered family to inform them of the rehearsal dinner time and location.

Abby, Erin, and Holtz decide to spend their afternoon lounging around. Abby and Holtz go snorkeling for a bit, and when they get back, Erin is in the same spot they left her by the pool, sipping a piña colada.

Abby towels off. “I thought you said you were never drinking again?”

“I may have been over-ambitious.” Erin takes a long pull from her drink. “They’re so refreshing!”

“How many have you had?” Holtz asks with a smirk.

“Two.” Erin takes another sip. “And a half.”

“Since we’ve been gone?” Holtz whistles. “Going hard.”

“I’ll be sober by the rehearsal.” Erin giggles. “Isn’t that funny? Rehearsal. It’s like we’re ballet dancers.” She roots around for her straw for a few seconds before she finds it. “I did ballet when I was little but I got kicked out. I bet I can remember how to pirouette.” She stumbles over the last word.

Abby reaches out and takes the drink from her. “Let’s lay off from this for a while, okay?”

Erin pouts.

“Can we back up a sec?” Holtz says. “Did you say you got kicked out of ballet?”

“I punched a girl in the face for saying I was wasn’t graceful enough to be a ballerina.”

Holtz’s grin widens. “Excellent.”

“How has this never come up in all the years I’ve known you?” Abby wonders out loud.

“Can I have my drink back?”

“No. And maybe you should get out of the sun, too.”

“Oh no!” Erin claps her hands to the sides of her face. “Am I burning?”

“No, I think you’ve just been in the sun for too long. Don’t need you getting any loopier than you already are.”

“I’m relaaaxing,” Erin says. “Holtz said I needed to. It’s Holtz’s fart. I mean fault.” Erin laughs. “Fart.”

Holtz holds her hands up. “Don’t drag me into this. Although, I must say that I love Drunk Erin. She’s fun.”

“Sober Erin is fun.”

“Sure she is,” Holtz concedes. “Abby’s right, though, let’s get you inside.”

Erin is impressively steady on her feet as they walk her back to her room.

“Why don’t you take a cold shower and then get dressed and ready for the rehearsal dinner?” Abby suggests.

Erin points to Abby. “Do you see this, Holtz? Now Abby’s the buzzkill! She’s the responsible one!”

“I see that,” Holtz says. “What a strange and interesting turn of events.”

“Alright, alright. Erin, we’ll be back in a bit.” Abby tugs Holtz from the room and they head down to their own room.

Holtz takes a shower while Abby flicks through channels on the TV, trying to find something in English. When Holtz returns from the bathroom, dressed and ready to go, Abby suggests she goes and checks on Erin while she gets ready herself. Holtz jovially agrees.

 

Holtz knocks on Erin’s door. There’s no answer. She tries again, then tests the knob and finds it unlocked.

“Erin?” she calls as she steps inside, covering her eyes just in case Erin’s getting changed. When there’s still no reply, she peeks through her fingers.

Erin is face down on her bed, still wearing her swim suit, fast asleep.

Holtz reaches her and gently shakes her shoulder. Erin stirs and yawns, but doesn’t open her eyes.

“If you don’t go to the cold shower, I’m bringing the cold shower to you,” Holtz warns.

Nothing.

She goes to the bathroom and dumps out Erin’s toothbrush from a cup on the counter, then fills it with cold water from the sink. Back at the bed, she calls Erin’s name one more time, then dumps the water directly on her.

Erin is upright in a flash, disoriented and drippy. “What the _crap,_ Holtzmann?”

“I warned you,” Holtz says with mirth. “You gotta get up and shower.”

She helps Erin get off the bed and nudges her in the direction of the shower. She perches on the edge of the bed, the part that’s not wet, and waits.

Erin emerges some time later with damp hair and a towel wrapped around her body.

“Oh, you’re still here,” she says in surprise.

Holtz covers her eyes. “Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you.”

“I just need to grab my dress from the closet.” Erin pauses. “You don’t have to cover your eyes.”

Holtz drops her hands. Erin rummages around in her suitcase, then the closet, and disappears again. She returns a few minutes later.

“That is [the most Erin Gilbert dress](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/d9/d2/28/d9d2286fed802dee15d20fd34e09c9d9.jpg) I’ve ever seen,” Holtz says.

Erin looks down at herself. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Holtz stands. “Come on. It’s brown, it looks like you could wear it in a classroom…” She reaches out to floof the droopy bow around Erin’s waist. “There’s a _bow_. Classic Erin.”

Erin frowns. “I thought it was cute.”

“It is! Like I said, very Erin. Only you could pull this off.”

“What if I don’t want to look classic Erin, though? What if I want to be Fun Erin?”

“Well, then you probably shouldn’t wear that dress.”

Erin holds up her finger and returns to the closet. She holds up a [second dress](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/a0/11/da/a011da47622cdb33c57207ecfb4d32fc.jpg) to her body and tilts her head in a wordless question.

Holtz stares. “Put that on.”

Erin ducks back into the bathroom and comes back with the new dress on. It’s turquoise, sleeveless, shapelier than the last one, and there’s another bow.

“Can’t leave these alone, hey?” Holtz touches the bow.

“Stop judging me. As if you’re one to talk. What’s going on with _your_ outfit?”

Holtz examines her own ensemble in the mirror. “What’s wrong with this? [Shirt](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/3c/87/42/3c8742deb9a91ce747d116b7b857f8e0.jpg), [shorts, suspenders](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/07/7f/e0/077fe0fad95cc677bef1d6afca52f6a2.jpg), [bow tie](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/48/bf/1e/48bf1e88397752c75ff549f399fbd274.jpg). Timeless combination.”

“It’s very Holtzmann.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“Is ‘very Erin’ a bad thing?”

“Never said it was,” Holtz says quickly.

“Then neither is ‘very Holtzmann.’”

“Good, because I don’t have a pretty blue dress in my suitcase.”

Erin snorts and shoves her. “You’re impossible.”

 

The door to Abby’s room opens and Holtz walks in, followed by Erin.

“There you guys are. I was just about to come looking for you.”

“We got delayed by a fashion emergency,” Holtzmann deadpans.

“Is the emergency that you match? Because you didn’t do a great job of solving that.”

“What? We don’t match,” Erin says, looking between her and Holtz. “How could I possibly match _that_ outfit? There are ten thousand different patterns and colours! It’s a clashing mess!”

“ _Hey,_ ” Holtz says.

The turquoise of Erin’s dress is very prominent in Holtz’s abstract-printed shirt. “Whatever you say.” She looks to Erin. “Have you sobered up a bit?”

“Yes,” the two of them reply simultaneously.

Abby shakes her head. “Good. We just need to get through the ceremony, then we can all get as drunk as we like.”

“Is that a promise?” Holtz says.

 

The three of them make their way to the spot where the ceremony is going to happen, right down on the beach. Patty and Cynthia are already there with Derrick and his groomsmen. Patty sighs loudly when she sees them.

“Holtzy, what the hell did I say about [that hat](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/79/96/32/7996328668af2b11bfe3976b04afd6cb.jpg)?”

“That I couldn’t wear it anywhere near your wedding,” Holtz parrots.

“And what are you doing?”

“Wearing it at your _rehearsal,_ not your wedding.”

“You little shit.”

Derrick does formal introductions of Jasper, Randy, his college friend Andrew, and his brother, Michael, who’s the best man.

Patty pairs them all up. Erin gets to walk with Jasper, Abby with Randy, and Holtz gets paired with Andrew.

“Nice hat,” he says sincerely.

“Thank you! Can I call you Andy?” she asks.

He laughs. “Sure. You have a name other than Holtzmann?”

“I don’t know.” She hums. “What’s a good name for a bridesmaid? Tammy?”

“You don’t look like a Tammy.”

“What about Elizabeth?”

“You _really_ don’t look like an Elizabeth.”

“Jillian?”

“You don’t look like a Jillian either.”

“Psyyyych! That _is_ my real name!” She slaps her knee. “I got you so good.”

He grins. “You’re bizarre.”

“How ’bout you call me Holtz? Most people do.”

He nods. “Yeah, that seems about right.”

 

Resort personnel walk them through the ceremony, and Patty can see in her head how great it’s going to be. The setting is gorgeous, the wedding party looks bomb together, and everything is falling perfectly into place. After they run through everything, the group makes their way to the private dining room they’ve booked for the rehearsal dinner. All the guests are attending because it’s such a small wedding.

Dinner starts, and a relaxed atmosphere settles in. Soon, they’re all laughing and eating and talking, and Patty feels so at home amongst her family, old and new.

As dessert winds down, Derrick’s father stands to make a toast.

“As a parent, all you want is for your children to be happy. Derrick is happier now than he has been in a long time, and it’s all thanks to you, Patty. I can see already how well you’re going to fit in with our family, and we can’t wait for you to be a part of it.” He lifts his glass. “To Derrick and Patty.”

Patty feels tears gather in the corners of her eyes. Her own dad passed away when she was just a kid. She’s always had a big family regardless, but now it feels that much more complete, more full.

Just like her heart.

 

The party has relocated to outside by one of the bars. Erin soaks in the warm night air and hangs off Kevin’s arm, proud that she landed the most attractive date (even if Holtz is right and nobody really has dates).

One of Derrick’s relatives, his uncle, Erin thinks, approaches them, and it’s clear he’s been drinking.

He addresses Erin. “You’re one of Patricia’s colleagues, aren’t you?”

“Yes sir. We both are.” She gestures to Kevin, who waves.

Derrick’s uncle squints at Kevin, then back at Erin. “This your son?”

Erin’s mouth drops to the floor. “ _What?_ ”

Before she can demand an explanation, he walks away, and she’s left spluttering after him.

“My _son?_ ” She turns to Kevin in shock. “Do I _look_ like I’m old enough to be your mother?” Kevin opens his mouth to respond, but she holds a hand up to silence him. “Don’t respond to that.”

She releases her grip on his arm and takes a few steps away from him.

“I can’t believe this. I need a drink.”

 

Holtzmann is perched on one of the stools at the bar when Erin comes out of nowhere and throws herself down onto the stool beside her. She waves for the bartender.

“One tequila,” Erin says.

Holtz looks at her with surprise. “Damn. Kicking it up a notch?”

“Holtzmann, be straight with me—”

“No can do, _cariño_.”

“ _Holtzmann_. I need to know. Do I look old enough to be Kevin’s mother?”

Holtz laughs. “In that dress? No.”

“ _Not_ in this dress?”

“Still no.” Holtz takes a sip from her beer. “What kind of question is that?”

“The kind of question I never had to ask until Derrick’s uncle freaking _asked me if Kevin was my son_.”

The bartender sets a shot glass in front of her and she knocks it back instantly, ignoring the offered lime and salt.

Holtz bursts into laughter. “He _what?_ ”

Erin motions for the bartender to stay put. “ _Una margarita, por favor._ Did I get _that_ right, Holtzmann?”

“Whoa. I’m sensing some hostility.” Holtz holds her hands up. “You’re not actually _upset,_ are you?”

“Of course I’m upset! Someone thinks I’m Kevin’s _mom_.”

“Erin, he’s hammered. Earlier he asked me if I had the DeLorean up and running.”

The bartender sets down Erin’s margarita, and she pushes the straw aside and downs a quarter of it in one go.

“Oh, you’re going for it. I feel like I need to get on your level.” Holtz flags the bartender too, orders a shot of tequila, and throws it back. She’s been itching to get drunk all night but didn’t want to do it alone.

“Face it, Holtz, I look old enough to be Kevin’s mother. I _am_ old. God, I’m so old.” Erin drops her head onto the bar with a thunk. “I’m so old and I’m never going to get married.”

“Of course you are,” Holtz says, very matter-of-factly. “Who wouldn’t want to marry you? You’re Erin Gilbert.”

“What does _that_ mean?”

“It means you’re a kick-ass scientist, and super hot, and someone’s gonna jump on that.”

“ _When?_ I already look ancient.”

“You do _not_. Besides, who cares about age? Patty’s older than you, and here she is getting married.”

“Patty’s gorgeous, though!”

“So are you!”

“Please, Holtz. I’m never getting married. I’m a neurotic nerd and I have a 30-year-old son.” Erin chugs the rest of her drink and slams the empty glass onto the bar. “Who would want me?”

 

Erin wakes up to a pounding on her door that rivals the pounding in her head, and then it flies open. Why hadn’t she locked it?

Patty bounds in. “I’m getting married today! Erin! I’m getting married! Get your ass outta bed!” She cheers loudly, too loudly for the early hour, and exits the room just as swiftly as she entered.

The covers of the bed fly off beside Erin.

“You think she knew I was here?” Holtz asks.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A beautiful human drew [this amazing art](https://goosewithanuke.tumblr.com/post/159004713243/couldnt-stop-thinking-about) of Holtzmann's swim attire from the last chapter. Check it out! It's exactly like I pictured it and I freaked out when I saw it!
> 
> See you on Wednesday for the next chapter! :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Wednesday! I'm in the middle of school hell rn and I'm very glad I already have this fic finished. On the bright side, I had my last day of classes of my undergrad yesterday!! And one week today I'll be done my degree completely! Ahhh!
> 
> Anyway, enjoy! Comments would brighten my spirits in these trying times. :)

 

 

“So…we’ve never done _that_ before,” Erin says, clutching the bedsheets to her bare chest.

“Nope.” Holtz pops the P. “We sure haven’t. I’d remember. _Damn_ , Gilbert.”

 

_Holtz has lost track of how many drinks her and Erin have consumed. She knows it’s a lot. She also knows that the party has pretty much dispersed. Patty checked in with them a while ago, but they haven’t seen her since. Abby had a headache and went back to the room an hour or so ago._

_They stumble together down to the oceanfront, giggling all the way._

_“I am so drunk,” Erin says. “Oh my god, I’m so drunk.”_

_Holtz snorts. “That’s becoming a theme.”_

_“Are you drunk? Holtzmann, are—” Erin hiccups._

_“Let’s swim, Erin. Let’s go swimming.”_

_“In our_ clothes? _” Erin gasps like this is the most outlandish thing Holtz has ever suggested._

_“Let’s do it, Erin. Let’s go swimming.” She grabs Erin’s hand and pulls her, and they run into the ocean. Water splashes up around her ankles._

_They wade-run until they’re knee-high. The tips of Holtz’s shorts and the hem of Erin’s dress trail through the water._

_“Let’s go further,” Erin says._

_They do, until they’re up to their waists._

_Holtz’s foot catches in the sand. She starts to fall and grabs for Erin on her way down, sending them both in slow-motion into the water with a splash. Holtz tuck-and-rolls off of Erin and staggers to her feet._

_“Holtz!” Erin squeals, floundering in the water. “Holtz, I’m drunk! I can’t swim!”_

_“Erin, Erin—” Holtz can’t stop laughing. “Erin! Erin, stand up!”_

_Erin stands. “Oh my god. Holtzmann, oh my god, I thought I was going to die.”_

_“You’re really drunk.”_

_“I’m really drunk. You’re really drunk.”_

_Holtz bobs her head. “I’m really drunk. Erin. Hey, Erin. Hey, hey, hey.”_

_Erin peels her dress from where it’s clinging to her thighs and then releases it back with a slop._

_“Erin. Erin.”_

_“What?”_

_“Look at the moon. The moon is so pretty.”_

_Erin’s mouth rounds into an O. “The moon is so pretty.”_

_“Erin. Erin. You’re so pretty. Do you know that? You’re so pretty. Pretty like the moon. Prettier than the moon.”_

_Erin considers that for a second, then flings herself at Holtz lips-first. They press together for a few seconds and break apart. Holtz touches her lips._

_“You just kissed me.”_

_“I did, didn’t I?” Erin laughs._

_“But…we don’t do that.” Holtz pauses. “Or do we? I can’t remember.”_

_“I…I thought it would be fun.”_

_“Wanna do it again?”_

_Erin throws her arms around Holtz’s neck and they’re making out again._

_Erin breaks away. “This doesn’t feel weird. Why doesn’t this feel weird?”_

_“Is it because we’re drunk?”_

_“Yeah. Maybe. Or…”_

_“Or?”_

_“Orrrrrrrrrrrrr…you’re just a really good kisser.”_

_“It could be both.”_

_“It could be both,” Erin repeats._

_They stare at each other in silence for a few moments._

_“I’m really wet,” Erin says._

_Holtz falls into the ocean laughing._

_“Holtzmann! Not like_ that _.”_

_Holtz treads water even though her feet are touching the sand. “Not even a little?”_

_“Holtz. Holtz. You’re terrible.”_

_“Tell me something I don’t know, baby.”_

_“It’s really late.”_

_“I know that.”_

_“No, I mean.” Erin gestures around to the open air._

_“Yeeeesss?”_

_“It’s late. It’s late, and we’re swimming, and Patty’s getting married tomorrow.”_

_“That’s all true.”_

_“We should go.”_

_“Back to our separate rooms to sleep,” Holtz clarifies._

_“Yes.”_

_“Lead the way.”_

 

Erin finds Abby in the buffet hall for breakfast and takes a seat across from her.

“Morning,” Abby says cheerfully. “Did you get the Patty Wake-Up Call this morning, too?”

Erin busies herself by shoving a forkful of scrambled eggs in her mouth and nods.

“I can’t believe she’s getting married today. That’s so crazy.”

Erin nods again.

“Hey, have you seen Holtz?”

Erin’s head snaps up. “I’m not seeing Holtz,” she says quickly, panicked.

Abby stares at her for a few seconds. “What?”

“What?”

Abby stares for a moment longer, then shakes her head. “She never came back to our room last night. Someone was getting luckyyyy.”

At that moment, Holtz plops into the chair beside Erin with a plateful of food. “Who got lucky?”

Erin sits ramrod-straight in her chair. “Abby thinks you did. Because you didn’t go back to your room last night.” She widens her eyes at Holtz.

Holtz looks between them. “Ah. Can confirm.” She takes a mouthful of her breakfast.

“Who was it?” Abby asks. “Oh! That girl you were flirting with down on the beach the other day?”

“In a sense,” Holtz says through her full mouth of food.

Erin can feel her face heating up. She keeps her gaze fixed on her plate.

“Wait a second…”

Erin looks up to see Abby squinting at her, then at Holtz, then back at Erin.

“Oh my god.” Abby covers her mouth. “Oh my god. You guys slept together.”

Erin’s face burns.

Holtz takes another bite of food.

“You’re not even trying to deny it. Oh my god. You totally did.”

“Abby…” Erin’s voice is hoarse.

“Oh my _god_. I can’t believe this. This is the best day ever. I need to find Patty.” Abby looks around frantically, then back at them. “Wait, no, we can’t tell Patty. Patty’s getting married today. She’d kill you if you took away the attention from her on her wedding day.”

Holtz keeps eating.

Abby leans back in her chair with an evil grin. “You guys _slept_ together.”

Erin presses her fingers to her temple. How did this _happen?_

 

_Erin fumbles with her room key and it falls to the ground outside her door. She bends to get it at the same time as Holtz, and they bonk heads._

_“Whoops,” Holtz says with a giggle. Erin’s never heard Holtzmann giggle before. She didn’t know Holtzmann could giggle._

_Erin grabs the key and rights herself. She unlocks the door and pushes it open, stares for a few seconds into her dark room, then turns to Holtz._

_“Are you going back to your room now?”_

_“I have fulfilled my gentlemanly duty to walk you to your room,” Holtz says. She grabs for the area above her head and then looks puzzled when she only connects with air. “Where’d my fancy top hat go? Erin. My hat is gone. How am I supposed to tip it and bid you farewell?”_

_“I haven’t seen it since the ceremony.” Erin gasps. “Do you think someone stole it?”_

_Holtz smacks her palm to her forehead. “Duh, Holtzy. Patty took it.”_

_“PaAAaattyyyyy.”_

_Holtz rushes a finger to Erin’s lips. “Shhhhh. You’ll wake her up.”_

_“Patty?” Erin says against Holtz’s unmoving finger._

_“Yessss.” Holtz drops the finger._

_“Patty’s room is aaaall the way over—” She points in the vague direction of the complex that Patty and her family are in— “there.”_

_“You’re right,” Holtz murmurs._

_“We should go inside so we don’t wake up Patty.”_

_“Or Abby.” Holtz nods. “That’s just smart thinkin’.”_

_Erin tugs them into the room and shuts the door. They stand just inside. Erin studies Holtz. She reaches out to tweak the edge of her bow tie. “This doesn’t match your shirt.”_

_“Sure it does.”_

_“Holtz._ Listen _. I know what matches and what doesn’t. That_ clashes _. It clashes_ so bad _, Holtz.”_

_“Okay,” Holtz says. “Okay, I’ll take it off.” She reaches up and unties the offending bow tie and shoves it in the pocket of her shorts._

_Erin’s hands land on Holtzmann’s chest and grab hold of the strappy things. What are those called again? “These…these things too.”_

_“What’s wrong with my suspenders?”_

_Suspenders. That’s right. “They’re too…” She pulls them and lets them snap back into place. “They’re too hot.”_

_“They’re too hot?”_

_Erin bites her lip and nods._

_Without breaking eye contact, Holtz shrugs off the suspender straps so they hang down loose._

_“Holtz.”_

_“Erin.”_

_“Your shirt.”_

_“What about my shirt?”_

_“I don’t know how to tell you this, but it’s hideous.”_

_“_ Hideous? _Now that I don’t believe.”_

_“It’s loud. It hurts my eyes. And it’s soaking wet.”_

_“Maybe I should take it off, then.”_

_“Maybe you should.”_

_Holtz untucks and slowly unbuttons her shirt. She tosses it to her feet, where it hits the ground with a wet splat, and then she’s just standing there in her shorts, bra, and loose suspenders._

_“Is that better?”_

_Erin doesn’t answer. Instead, she throws herself at Holtz again to crush their lips together again. Her hands slide down Holtz’s bare back, and Holtz’s hands land on Erin’s waist._

_Holtz breaks away from her after a bit. “Erin.”_

_“I’m sorry.”_

_“What are we doing? You’re drunk.”_

_“So are you.”_

_“I can’t take advantage of you when you’re drunk.”_

_“Holtz, you’re just as drunk as me. Why can’t we take advantage of each other? We both want this.”_

_“We do?”_

_“I do. Don’t you?”_

_“Of course I want this,” Holtz says. She reaches up to brush Erin’s jaw. “You’re beautiful, Erin.”_

_Erin replies by kissing Holtz again. Without breaking contact, she pulls them in the direction of the bed. They tumble down onto it together._

_Erin pulls away. “Want to get under the covers?”_

_Holtz grins. “Okay.”_

_Erin tugs down the zipper of her dress and shimmies out of it, feeling the awful chafe of wet fabric on skin. Beside her, Holtz has discarded her shorts, leaving her in boxers with little eggplants printed on them. The two of them crawl up the bed and under the covers, and Erin reaches under the sheets to remove her bra and panties. Holtzmann does the same._

_Erin pauses and looks over at her. “We’re really doing this. We’re going to see each other_ naked _.”_

_Holtz grins goofily. “Count of three?”_

_Erin nods. “One, two—”_

_“_ Tres _.”_

_They lift the covers at the same time and peer underneath, then drop them as fast as they lifted them._

_“Well,” Erin says, “I think it’s safe to say we just effectively ruined our friendship.”_

_“Ehh,” Holtzmann says, moving to straddle Erin. “We weren’t that close anyway.”_

 

The morning and afternoon are a blur as they all get ready in the designated room. Abby watches with smug glee as Holtz and Erin dance around each other awkwardly while they get their hair and makeup done. God, why did this have to happen at Patty’s wedding of all times? She’s not going to be able to tell Patty until she gets back from her honeymoon. A shame.

The wedding photographers flit around, and it’s a weird feeling. Abby gets into her dress, then helps Erin zip up hers.

Holtz strides into the room and they take in [her outfit](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/4f/92/28/4f9228c81446171ee7c66bbeb1eff426.jpg) for the first time. Erin’s jaw drops to the floor, and Abby chuckles at her before whistling at Holtz.

“Aren’t you looking dapper.”

Holtz does a quick pivot and bows. “Wouldn’t it have looked better with the hat?”

“No,” Patty says, having just stepped back into the room with Cynthia.

They all gasp. Abby forgot just how stunning she looks in [her dress](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/3e/3c/9e/3e3c9eb9a35f4ab08cae17967a376e1b.jpg). She feels herself getting choked up. “Oh, Patty.”

“Patty, you look so beautiful,” Erin says, her hand covering her mouth.

“I need to put my glasses back on,” Holtz says. “It’s too hard on my eyes to look directly at you. You’re as radiant as the damn sun, Patty.”

“Y’all are gonna make me cry and we haven’t even started yet,” Patty says, and spreads her arms wide. “C’mere.”

She envelopes them in a large group hug.

“I love you so much,” she says. “Thanks for being here. It means more than I can put in words.”

“Aww, Patty,” Erin says.

“Love you, Patty,” Holtz says.

“We wouldn’t miss this for the world,” Abby says.

 

Patty’s mom shows up with Tamara (Patty’s niece and the [flower girl](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/81/2f/f1/812ff1cb7d786500c82bcbcc932dedf6.jpg)). It’s the first time her mom has seen her in the dress, and she cries immediately, which causes Patty to well up as well. They all walk to the sheltered gazebo where they’ll emerge before walking down the aisle, where the [groomsmen](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/75/53/fd/7553fd71e2c8082f92f0a4b30aa64833.jpg) are already waiting for them. The sight of them makes it settle in even more that Patty’s about to get married.

Her bridesmaids line up with their partners, and now it _really_ feels real.

One of the resort staff members says something in Spanish into his walkie-talkie, and a voice on the other end responds. He flashes them the thumbs up, and she hears music start.

It’s happening. Suddenly, she doesn’t feel ready. She grips the bouquet of white roses and lilies that the resort provided her. Her mom squeezes her arm.

Abby and Randy depart, then Holtz and Andrew, then Erin and Jasper. Cynthia beams at her before leaving, then Tamara exits as well, and it’s just Patty and her mom left.

“I got you, baby,” her mom murmurs reassuringly.

The music changes, and that’s their cue. They step out of the gazebo together and make their way across the boardwalk, then turn to the right.

The ocean stretches out in front of her, lined with a shore of all her loved ones. Her best friends are [lined up](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/c1/31/d5/c131d5b6793ff9a89b4c3506fecb4ed4.jpg), looking beautiful, and the groomsmen, but who she really cares about is [Derrick](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/8e/8b/a5/8e8ba5c2871c8d0bc2a86bc87ccb4f24.jpg). He stands tall and proud in the centre, gazing at her with adoration and amazement.

They reach the tulle-wrapped canopy before she knows it. Her mom kisses her cheek and retreats to her seat, and Patty takes Derrick’s hands, and she’s home.

 

Erin isn’t sure when she started crying, but she’s crying. She’s pretty sure they all are. Beside her, Holtz discreetly wipes her eyes, but she sees it anyway.

It’s a beautiful ceremony, the perfect balance between romantic and personal, and when the couple leans in for a kiss, Erin cheers extra hard. They’re perfect together, and she knows they’ll make each other happy for the rest of their lives.

After the ceremony is over, they proceed back down the aisle to the gazebo they started in, where they take turns hugging Patty and Derrick in turn. The rest of the wedding guests make their way to the cocktail hour, while the wedding party returns to the beach for photos. It takes about half an hour for the photos of the whole wedding party in assorted groupings, and then they’re dismissed while the newlyweds take the rest of their photos against the backdrop of the setting sun.

Erin and the others join the rest of the guests and snag some hors d’oeuvres. The ceremony was scheduled for quite late because Patty had timed it around the sunset, so they’re all starving. It’s a sacrifice they were willing to make for her.

The cocktail hour flows effortlessly into the reception when they migrate indoors and take their seats. The reception hall is decorated simply yet effectively in white, courtesy of resort staff. Erin’s got to admit, there’s something to be said for a wedding where someone else does all the work. Personally, she could never relinquish control like that for her own wedding, but she does see the merit.

The DJ grabs their attention. “ _Damas y caballeros_ , for the first time, I present to you: Mr. and Mrs. Lewis!”

Clearly nobody filled him in on the hyphenation.

The room hoots and hollers as Patty and Derrick enter and quiet down when they transition right into their first dance.

Erin watches them with tears in her eyes for the millionth time that day, and happens to catch Holtz’s eye across the table. Holtz raises one eyebrow and the corner of her mouth twitches up. Erin blushes and looks back to the newlyweds quickly.

After the dance finishes, Patty takes the mic. “I know y’all are starving, so we’re not gonna make you sit through any more bullshit wedding stuff until you’re fed.”

The guests chuckle. Servers come out with their entrees and Erin realizes just how hungry she is. She digs in as Patty and Derrick join them at the table.

“How’s everything taste?” Patty asks.

Erin, mouth full, motions a ‘perfect’ sign.

 

As dinner slows down, a string of toasts begins. Holtz slots herself right in the middle, rising out of her seat and clinking her glass. She walks around the room as she begins.

“Patty. Oh, my dearest Patty. So, as everyone knows, I work with Patty. My name’s Holtzmann, or as Patty likes to call me: ‘HOLTZY DON’T DO THAT.’”

Everyone laughs.

Holtz clears her throat. “Patty threw herself headfirst into our group as an outsider from the start. A historian and former MTA employee surrounded by three PhDs with a vast knowledge of particle physics, the paranormal, and engineering. And yet she calls _me_ the crazy one.”

More laughter. Holtz paces.

“But the truth is, Patty’s just as, if not more, brilliant as the rest of us. From the beginning, she’s balanced us out and given us a lot that we wouldn’t have without her…historical briefings about paranormal entities, a vast and comprehensive knowledge of the city, a voice of reason…”

“Guilty!” Patty interjects.

Holtz takes a deep breath. “I’m very familiar with the language of physics, but that’s not the language that Patty speaks best. So bear with me, because I’m about to try something new.” She pauses in her pacing. “Cleopatra. Boudicca. Eleanor of Aquitaine. Joan of Arc. Mirabai. Catherine the Great. Mary Wollstonecraft. Jane Austen. Sojourner Truth. Harriet Beecher Stowe. Queen Victoria. Florence Nightingale. Susan B. Anthony. Elizabeth Blackwell. Emily Dickinson. Marie Curie. Rosa Luxemburg. Helena Rubinstein. Helen Keller. Eleanor Roosevelt. Katharine Hepburn. Simone de Beauvoir. Mother Teresa. Dorothy Hodgkin. Rosa Parks. Queen Elizabeth II. Indira Gandhi. Eva Peron. Margaret Thatcher. Marilyn Monroe. Anne Frank. Audrey Hepburn. Wangari Maathai. Billie Jean King. Shirin Ebadi. Benazir Bhutto. Oprah Winfrey. Madonna. Princess Diana. J.K. Rowling. Tegla Loroupe. Malala Yousafzai. Hillary Clinton. And…Patricia Tolan-Lewis.”

She starts pacing again. “I’ve just listed a handful of women who have gone down in history, and Patty, you’re going to be on that list. All over the world, for generations to come, little girls will read about Patty Tolan-Lewis, the historian who revolutionized the study of the paranormal by reminding us to look to the past to help us deal with the present, and those little girls will see themselves in you. Someday, somewhere, a little girl is going to look at you and say _I’m going to be the next Patty Tolan-Lewis_. That’s going to be your legacy.”

Patty wipes at her eyes. Holtz turns to address Derrick.

“Derrick, you’re part of the Ghostbusters family now, and I hope you know just how lucky you are. Not just because you get the pleasure of having _me_ as your honorary bro, because let’s face it, I’m a delight—”

Chuckles.

“—but also because you’ve landed someone truly special. Patty is one of the kindest, warmest, most down-to-earth, most badass, smartest, and most incredible women on the planet. Treat her like the queen she is, because if you don’t, I know how to give you radiation poisoning and make it look like an accident.”

The crowd titters. Why are they laughing? Do they think she’s joking? Patty’s eyes widen. _She_ knows Holtz means business, at least.

She strolls over to Patty and rests a hand on her shoulder, gazing down at her from an arm’s length away. “Patty, you are an irreplaceable part of our team and one of my best friends, and I am so honoured to not only be a part of your special day, but be part of your _every_ day, even when all you want to do is get away from me. It’s a privilege to work alongside you and to be your friend. Thank you for letting me. I love you.”

Patty’s lip wavers. “Holtzy, don’t _do that!_ ” She rises from her chair and throws her arms around Holtzmann. “I love you so much,” Patty says in her ear.

 

Within ten seconds of Patty and Derrick opening up the dance floor, Holtzmann is out there going to town. Erin watches her, but tries to make it seem like she isn’t watching her exclusively by moving her gaze every once in a while.

The floor fills up while Erin and Abby remain at their table. A bouncy Spanish pop song starts, and Holtz bops over and extends a hand to each of them.

Abby crosses her arms. “Oooh no.”

“C’mooonnnnn. Come boogie with me.” Holtz looks at Erin and wiggles her fingers. “Show the world those classic Gilbert moves of yours.”

“Only if Abby comes too,” Erin says, and takes a sip of champagne from her glass on the table.

“One dance. That’s it,” Abby says, and stands.

Holtz whoops loudly and tugs them both onto the dance floor. “Let’s get dooown!”

Abby’s actually a really great dancer, as is Holtzmann. They both always give it their all. Erin knows she looks goofy when she dances, but so does Holtz, and she manages to pull it off…so who’s to say Erin can’t? Dancing is about _fun_ , and Erin always has fun when she dances.

Holtz struts and gyrates around Erin with increasing intensity as the song builds, and she tries to keep up, adding in some original moves, letting her body ripple with the music. Coloured light from the DJ flashes off Holtz’s grin, and Erin feels her face warm as a result.

The song comes to an end. Panting, Abby dismisses herself back to the table, promising to come back after a drink. Erin is also out of breath. She realizes a little belatedly that the music has transitioned into a slow song. She turns to go back to the table, but Holtz catches her elbow.

“Dance with me,” she says.

Erin’s heart stutters at the earnest sparkle in Holtzmann’s eyes. She nods and allows herself to be pulled in so their bodies are touching and Holtz’s hand is resting on Erin’s back.

It’s the closest they’ve been to alone since Holtz left Erin’s room that morning.

“So.” Holtz slowly spins them. “What we did last night was…”

“Stupid,” Erin supplies.

“100% bonkers.”

“What were we _thinking?_ ”

“We were drunk.” Holtz licks her lips. “I’m coming over tonight though, right?”

A ‘definitely’ jumps into Erin’s mouth but she holds it back. “We shouldn’t.”

Holtz looks disappointed. “Probably smart.”

They rotate again, silent. Holtz’s hand is warm. Erin tries to not think about how _right_ this feels, being in Holtz’s arms like this. How close Holtz is, and how easy it would be to lean in and—

“I need to go,” Erin says. She breaks away and all but runs from the reception hall, away from temptation. Away from Holtz.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At least this isn't as bad of a cliffhanger as the last chapter! See you on Saturday for the next chapter. :)


	5. Chapter 5

Holtz returns to the table, where Abby waits with an amused expression.

“Lovers’ spat?”

Holtz drops into her chair and picks up her champagne flute, draining the rest of it. “We’re not lovers, Abby.”

“Right, because most one-night-stands look at each other like _that_ while slow-dancing at a wedding.”

Holtz’s mouth twitches up.

Patty comes up behind Holtz. “Cutting the dance party short?”

“Need a minimum one-song recharging cycle or I’ll have insufficient power levels to continue.”

Patty throws her head back in laughter and musses Holtz’s hair. “I love you.” She reaches to take a swig from Holtzmann’s water glass and sets it back down. “Where’d Erin run off to? Y’all were looking mighty cute out there.”

Holtz shrugs.

“Well, if you see her, tell her we’re cutting the cake soon.” With a wave, Patty leaves to go talk to Cynthia.

Holtz bounces her leg under the table as she stares into her empty champagne flute like answers will be floating in the bottom.

“Go try to find her,” Abby says.

Holtz looks up. “Who?”

Abby shoots her a look. “Holtz. Just go.”

Holtz sighs and gets up.

Outside, she’s not exactly sure where to go next. Where would Erin go?

Her feet carry her in the direction of the beach. She walks along the row of abandoned lounge chairs, scanning the waterfront for Erin.

Ahead, closer to the complex where their rooms are, there’s a cluster of palm trees at the edge of the beach that are strung with mesh hammocks. There’s a figure sitting in one of them, the approximate size of Erin, and Holtz just knows that it’s her.

She takes her time walking over there. She’s not quite sure what to say to Erin.

When she gets there, Erin is staring out at the waves. She doesn’t seem to sense Holtz’s presence.

Holtzmann clears her throat softly and Erin’s head snaps over. “You’re gonna miss the cake-cutting,” Holtz says.

“Oh.” Erin frowns. “Sorry, I just needed some air.”

Holtz kicks at the sand. “Mind if I join you?”

Erin hesitates but gestures her assent. Holtz climbs into one of the hammocks and stretches out. It smells like beach. Erin remains seated upright in hers with her bare feet planted in the sand. Her sandals rest forgotten nearby.

Erin sighs. “Holtz…how could we have let this happen?”

“Seven times,” Holtz adds. The palm leaves sway above her. The stars glitter beyond them.

It’s silent except for the gentle slosh of waves on the shore.

“Look, we were on vacation.”

Holtz turns her head to study Erin’s expression. “At a wedding, no less. In a foreign country.”

“So…while we’re still here…we can keep doing it, right?”

Holtz tries to fight back a smile. “Well, I don’t see that we have a choice.” She exhales. “But when we’re back home we don’t do it.”

“Only here,” Erin confirms.

“That seems reasonable.”

“You know, our rooms aren’t far from here.”

“I like the way you think, Gilbert, but Patty’ll be upset if we miss the cake-cutting. Plus, I want cake.”

Erin blushes enough that Holtz can see it in the limited light. “Right.”

“Later,” Holtz says firmly.

 

After the cake is cut, the party starts to wind down. There are still some stragglers on the dance floor. Erin realizes this might be her only chance in this lifetime to dance with Kevin, and pulls him out there on a slow song.

He’s not as good of a dancer as Holtzmann, Erin notes, and they don’t fit together as well. He does look beautiful in his suit, but the tiny voice in the back of her head reminds her that Holtz does too.

After their dance is over, there’s another faster song, which she retreats back to their table for. Holtz is wolfing down her third slice of cake.

“Does the beefcake dance better than Holtz?” Abby snorts. “Ha. Beef _cake_.”

Holtz looks up for the answer but Erin presses her lips together and picks up her water glass.

The song ends and the DJ comes on and announces that it’s time for the last slow song of the night. Holtz drops her fork to her plate with a clatter and shoves her chair back.

“Come on, Erin. You owe me a full dance.”

Erin flushes but stands and lets Holtz lead her out to the dance floor. She tries to ignore the fact that it’s only couples out there now.

“You didn’t answer,” Holtz says as they settle in. “Who’s the better dancer, me or Kev?”

“You,” Erin admits.

Holtz grins smugly. “I knew it.” Her grip on Erin’s back tightens ever so slightly. “We look better together, too. Our outfits match. Even _you_ can’t deny it this time.”

“You’re right,” Erin says softly. “I didn’t get a chance to say it yet, but you look incredible tonight, Holtz.”

“Aw, shucks. This ole thing? Besides…” She rakes her gaze up and down Erin’s body. “Patty notwithstanding, you’re the most gorgeous one in the room.”

Erin blushes hard. They revolve around.

The song ends too soon, and they reluctantly part.

“It’s time for the last song of the night,” the DJ calls, “so I want to see everyone out on the dance floor.”

Another upbeat song filters through the speakers. Abby joins them, and Patty with Derrick, and even Kevin. They dance hard, like it’s the last song of their lives, and Erin’s eyes keep finding Holtz’s across the group. Even though the trip isn’t over yet, there’s an air of lastness, so Erin vows to soak up this moment in its entirety: just in case she never feels like this again and forgets what it’s like.

 

The wedding draws to a close. It was everything Patty hoped it would be and more. Her heart feels so full as she hugs her family and friends goodnight and thanks them all for coming. Everyone agrees that it was a perfect wedding.

Erin and Holtzy hug her in turn and promptly try to escape.

“Where y’all going? We’re going for drinks, and you’re coming. The night is still so young!” The resort only allots a certain amount of time in the reception hall with the DJ, so it is still relatively early. Especially considering it’s the others’ last night at the resort. “I feel like I haven’t had any quality time with y’all all night.”

The two exchange a glance, but Erin nods. “Of course!”

Soon, the whole wedding party is spread out at one of the bars.

“That was a damn good wedding. Wasn’t that a damn good wedding?” Patty sips from her drink.

“That was a damn good wedding,” Holtzmann agrees.

“And _you!_  With that _speech!_ ” Patty shakes her head.

Holtz lifts an eyebrow over her beer.

“It really was something, Holtz,” Erin says.

 

Abby and Erin are engaged in conversation with Jasper and Derrick’s brother Michael. Abby can tell that Erin is itching to get away with Holtz, but Jasper won’t stop talking her ear off. Michael at least is a good conversationalist, but he takes off after a bit to go hang out with his brother. Jasper mostly just seems to be trying to hit on them. Both of them. Simultaneously.

The most amusing part of it all is Holtz sulking a short distance away as she watches this unfold.

“So it’s pretty typical for groomsmen and bridesmaids to hook up at a wedding, huh?” Jasper says. Subtle.

“Oh, sure,” Abby says. “Groomsmen with bridesmaids, bridesmaids with bridesmaids…”

Erin kicks her under the bar. Abby grins into her drink.

Jasper looks at her weird but diverts his attention to Erin. “We probably won’t see each other again after this,” he says.

“Probably not.”

“You ever think about getting’ a little wild? What happens in Playa stays in Playa?”

“Yes, actually,” Erin says, then gets up from the bar. “Excuse me, I have to go.”

She’s gone before Jasper can sputter a response. Abby hears Erin say something to Patty about wanting to get started packing.

“Don’t take it personally,” Abby says to Jasper, then leaves to go talk to Patty instead.

She doesn’t miss it when Holtz excuses herself for the night five minutes later.

 

Holtz walks briskly through the warm night in the direction of their rooms, where she knows Erin will be waiting for her. She’s filled with nervous energy. What if it’s different when they’re not plastered? What if it’s weird? What if it’s bad?

She shakes that thought from her head. Judging by the previous night, it couldn’t be bad unless Erin suddenly grew two heads. And even that would probably just make for a more adventurous night.

She almost doesn’t notice that Erin is waiting in the same hammocks as earlier and has to double back.

“Hey,” she says, shoving her hands in her pockets as she ambles over.

Erin smiles when she sees her. “Hey.”

“What’s a girl like you doing in a place like this?”

“Waiting for someone.”

“Oh yeah? They sound lousy.”

Erin laughs and comes over to stand so close to Holtz that the length of their bodies is touching. Erin runs a hand down her chest, something she seems to do a lot of.

“She’s actually pretty great,” Erin says, her breath light on Holtzmann’s face.

“Erin,” Holtz squeaks, “if you kiss me right now, I don’t think I’m going to be able to control myself from having sex with you right here on this very public beach.”

Erin’s eyes widen and she steps back enough that they aren’t touching. She bites her lip. “We should go to my room.”

“That sounds like an excellent proposition.”

Erin takes her by the hand and pulls her to her room, where she unlocks the door and locks it behind them.

“Nobody’s gonna walk in on us this time,” she says.

“Smart,” Holtz replies.

They stare at each other, chests heaving, not saying anything. Neither of them know how to begin.

Holtz reaches forward, tucks stray hair behind Erin’s ear. “ _Hermosa_ ,” she says.

Erin jumps. “A bear? Where?”

“Yes. There’s a bear. In your room.” Holtz rolls her eyes. “The public education system has failed you.”

“You know, insulting my Spanish is a sure-fire way to _not_ get into my pants. Keep it up.”

“I’m just messin’ with ya. What about calling you beautiful in Spanish? That a yes or a no?”

Erin pauses. “I don’t know. I’d have to hear it to know for sure.”

Holtz tilts her head and waits.

A few seconds later, comprehension dawns on Erin’s face. “ _Oh._ I figured it out.”

“Glad you got there.”

There’s another pause.

“So,” Erin begins, at the same time that Holtz goes to say, “Now what?”

They both break off and laugh.

“We’re bad at this,” Erin says.

Holtz bobs her head. “I have an idea.” She steps forward so they’re touching again. “I’m going to kiss you now,” she announces, and starts leaning in.

Erin shrieks.

Holtz jumps back from her. “Jesus, okay, never mind then.”

“COCKROACH. HOLTZ. COCKROACH.”

Holtz swivels to look behind her where Erin is pointing. Sure enough, she spots a brown body scuttling across the tiled floor.

She turns back to Erin, who appears to be hyperventilating.

“On it,” Holtz says. She strides over, crouches by the bug, and with one quick strike manages to capture it in her palm. She calmly carries it outside and drops it in the foliage, then returns to the room.

Erin is standing with her arms wrapped tight around her torso. “How could you _touch_ it like that?!”

Holtzmann goes to scrub her hands in the bathroom. “I love that shit,” she calls. “Collected them as a micro-Holtz. Built them a little sanctuary and everything.”

“That is _disgusting_.”

Holtz returns to the main room with squeaky clean hands. “Now that that’s taken care of, where were we?”

Erin looks at her like she’s crazy. “Are you serious? There’s no way I can stay in here knowing that _thing_ was crawling around on my stuff! What if it was in my bed?”

“It probably wasn’t in your bed.”

“But was if it _was?_ What if there’s _more?_ ”

“I…oookay? What would you suggest, then?”

“I’m going to need to sleep in your room tonight.”

“Abby will be there.”

“I don’t care.”

“Kinky.”

“ _Holtzmann_. Obviously we can’t…you know.”

“Well…she’s _probably_ still at the bar right now, so if we hurry over there…”

Erin’s oohs. “Let me grab my pajamas.”

 

Abby is sitting on her bed in her PJs watching TV (she finally resigned to there being no English channels) when the door opens and Holtzmann and Erin pour in. They freeze when they see her.

“Oh! Uhh, hey, Abberoo. We were just coming to—”

Abby holds up a hand. “Save it. I don’t wanna know.”

“I need to stay here tonight.” Erin holds up a bundle of clothes. “There was a cockroach in my room.”

Abby shudders. “Say no more.” She considers that for a moment. “You’re staying in my bed, though. No funny business while I’m in the room. Got it?”

“Got it,” they reply simultaneously.

She goes to the bathroom after a bit and hears them murmuring.

“In the bathroom counts as being in the room,” she shouts as a warning.

They go silent.

Why does she feel like she’s going to regret this?

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

Erin wakes up alone in Abby’s bed the next morning. She glances around, throws back the covers, and goes to see if she’s in the bathroom. When that turns up empty too, she excitedly makes her way over to where Holtz is stretched out on her own bed, snoring, and shakes her shoulder.

Holtz startles awake. “Whozzat?”

“Holtz,” Erin hisses. “Abby’s gone.”

That gets Holtz more awake. “She is?”

“She must be at breakfast. If we act fast—”

“Get over here.”

Erin crawls onto the bed and up so she’s hovering over Holtz. “Wow, you look really cute in the morn—”

“No time for that,” Holtz says.

Erin leans down.

The door flies open.

“Wake up, we have an emerg—oh, _Jesus,_ ” Abby throws her hands over her eyes as Erin scrambles to get off the bed and away from Holtz. “I’m gone for _twenty minutes_ …”

“What’s going on, Abby?” Erin smooths down her pajamas.

Holtz props herself up in bed on her elbows. “Better be important.”

Abby drops her hands. “Kevin’s missing.”

“ _Missing?_ How could he possibly be missing?” Erin frowns.

“I was supposed to meet him for breakfast so I can keep an eye on him until we leave, but he never showed up.”

“Is it possible that our dearest receptionist got the time wrong? Or the place? Or any number of variables?”

“He’s not in his room,” Abby says, “and I already checked the other buffet halls.”

“Holtz is right, there are far too many things for him to mess up. I’m sure he’s around somewhere.”

“Well of course he’s around _somewhere_ ,” Abby says, “but we’re leaving this afternoon, and it’s a big resort.”

“He’ll turn up.” Holtz yawns.

“He’s not a pair of sunglasses, Holtz. Now, I don’t know why the hell _I_ of all people got stuck Kevinsitting on this trip, but I refuse to be the one to blame if he’s not with us when the bus comes to take us to the airport. Both of you better be up and dressed in ten minutes so we can search for him. I’ll be at breakfast.”

With that, Abby turns and leaves, slamming the door behind her.

“You know, ten minutes is a generous amount of time…”

Erin shoots Holtz a look. “For you, maybe. I’m going to go get changed in my room. If you hear screaming, just know that the cockroaches have exacted their revenge.”

Fifteen minutes later, they’ve joined Abby in the breakfast hall.

“Let’s retrace your steps,” Holtz says. “Where was the last place you remember having Kevin?”

“I’m going to kill you,” Abby says.

“Abby’s right. This is serious. We can’t just leave Kevin in Mexico.”

“Ehh. He’d survive.”

As soon as they shovel in some quick breakfast, they divide up to search different areas of the resort. Holtzmann has the beach, Abby has the restaurants and other main buildings, and Erin has the pools and other recreation spots. They agree to meet back at the main pool every hour for a progress report.

After the first hour, none of them have seen him. After a five minute water break, they set out again. At the hour-two meetup, both Erin and Abby haven’t found him. Holtz is nowhere to be seen.

“If we have to find her too, I swear to god…”

Erin squints at two figures approaching from far down the beach. “Hold on, I think I see them.”

Sure enough, when they get closer, it’s Holtz and a shirtless Kevin.

He beams and waves when they reach them. “Hi guys!”

“Kev, tell them where you’ve been,” says Holtz.

“I was playing Frisbee down on the beach, and these nice people invited me to go on an adventure!”

“Oh, Kevin,” Erin says.

Holtz holds up a finger, indicating that they should let him finish.

“They were having a wet t-shirt contest, and I won!” He grins proudly.

Abby grimaces. “Buddy…where’s your t-shirt, then?”

“In my room!”

“So what—”

Holtz cuts off Erin with a shake of her head.

Erin sighs. “Good to have you back, Kevin.”

“You need to stick with one of us for the rest of the day, okay?” Abby says. “No more wandering off with strangers.”

“Oh, Dave and Jezebel aren’t strangers,” Kevin says. “They taught me how to bungee jump when I lived in Guam.”

Erin and Abby gape at him. Holtzmann does a ‘whatcha gonna do’ movement.

 

After the Kevin ordeal, they’ve worked up enough of an appetite to eat lunch, so the four of them head back to the buffet hall (after taking him to put on a shirt). When they’re there, they run into Patty and Derrick.

“The newlyweds emerge!” Holtz whistles at them.

Patty glances at Derrick and smirks.

“Have y’all had a nice last morning?”

“Oh yeah,” Holtz says.

“Super relaxing,” Abby adds.

“There was a cockroach in my room,” Erin says.

Kevin chimes in, “But I beat Erica!”

Patty looks between all of them. “Is Erica the cockroach?”

“Yes,” Abby says quickly. “Shall we eat?”

Patty shakes her head at them.

 

After lunch, they head back to their rooms to pack. Well, Holtz, Abby, and Erin go to their rooms. Kevin comes with them. Holtz packs her duffle bag quickly and heads down the hall to Erin’s room.

Erin opens the door and immediately looks down at Holtz’s feet, as if a cockroach is going to scurry in while the door is ajar.

“Can I come in?”

Erin steps to the side to let Holtz in, then shuts the door behind her.

“So…” Holtz says. “We have to leave in less than an hour.”

Erin returns to her open suitcase. “I know. I’ve been looking at the bathroom…it’s probably pretty clean, right?”

“I don’t know, Erin. For one that’d be pretty uncomfortable, and for two, you know, let’s do it…”

Erin drops the clothes in her hand. Holtz rushes over to the bathroom, and then…there’s a fucking knock on the door.

“Go _away_ ,” Erin shouts.

The door opens to reveal an annoyed-looking Abby and Kevin.

“Holtzmann, I need you to take Kevin to his room to pack.”

“Why do I have to take him?”

“Because I said, I’m done watching him, and he keeps distracting me while I try to pack.”

Holtz groans. “Fiiine. Come on, Kev.”

She shoots one last pained glance at Erin before she leaves, and she sees the expression mirrored on Erin’s face.

 

The next time Erin sees Holtz, they’re all up in the reception area with their bags, turning in their keys. She meets Holtz’s eyes, and they seem to say a frustrated _I know_ back at her. This is it. They’ve officially run out of chances. As they all sit with their bags waiting for the airport bus, Erin can’t even bring herself to talk to Holtzmann.

When the bus pulls up, Patty and Derrick hug them all goodbye, thank them again for coming, and promise to see them again in a week after they fly back from their honeymoon. They board the bus. Erin ends up next to Abby for the drive back to Cancun.

“You doing okay?” Abby asks, quiet enough that Kevin and Holtz on the other side of the aisle wouldn’t be able to hear.

Erin ducks her head. “I’m fine.”

“This thing with Holtz…what was it?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Erin says. “Whatever it was, it’s over now.”

Abby exhales like she wants to say something else, but instead she stays quiet for the rest of the bus ride.

 

At the airport, they check in, make it through security, and hunker down at their gate to wait for their 7:30pm flight back to New York. Holtz is a bundle of restless energy, so she busies herself by pacing through the airport and examining all the stores full of cheap tourist crap. She contemplates buying a sombrero, then decides against it.

She purchases a postcard to stick on her wall, and a colouring book and crayons in case she gets bored on the flight again, then returns to their gate because it must be getting close to boarding. She drops into the chair beside Erin and slouches down in it.

“Hey,” Erin says glumly.

“Howdy.”

Erin checks her watch. “You know, if we ran to that single-stall family bathroom over there, we might—”

“ _Flight number four-six-eight-three to New York is now boarding. I repeat, flight number four-six-eight-three to New York is now boarding. All passengers in boarding zone one please line up now.”_

Holtzmann drops her head into her hands.

 

They sit the same as they did coming over, Holtzmann in the window seat, then Erin, then Kevin, and Erin can’t help but note how different everything is. Her and Holtz sit rigid in their seats for most of the four hour flight, like even the smallest brush of elbows could be dangerous.

“Maybe,” Holtz says quietly, “it’s best we never got to do it again.”

Erin sighs. “Yeah. It sort of makes that one night special.” They’re silent for a moment, remembering, and then something occurs to Erin. “You know…technically, we _are_ still over international waters…”

Holtz’s face lights up. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom. Maybe I’ll…see you there in a bit?”

“Maybe you will,” Erin replies smoothly.

With a grin, Holtz unbuckles her seatbelt and clambers over her and Kevin on her way to the aisle. Erin undoes her own seatbelt and reaches into her purse for a mint.

“So, Erin, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about what you said on the plane over here,” Kevin says.

Erin checks her reflection in the blank screen of her phone. “What was that?”

“About Ghostbusters not being a movie? And I’m really confused now.”

“Kevin, it’s not a movie. I promise you.”

“Are you sure? I really think it is.”

“I’m sure, Kevin.” Erin stands. “Now if you’ll excuse me…”

“But if Ghostbusters isn’t a movie, then what’s that movie with four ghost-hunters called?”

With a long groan, Erin drops back into her seat. “Okay, first of all, we don’t _hunt_ ghosts…”

 

Holtz returns to their seats to find Erin with several empty mini-bottles of liquor on her tray and her fingers pressed to her temples while Kevin talks.

“—and they shoot down the big marshmallow man with their proton packs and—oh, hi, Holtzmann! Wow, you’ve been in the bathroom for like a half hour!”

Erin drops her fingers and looks up at Holtz with a ‘help me’ expression.

Holtz grits her teeth. “I _know_.”

Erin widens her eyes and gestures at Kevin.

“Did you have the shrimp cocktail?” Kevin asks knowingly.

Erin covers her face again.

 

They land around half-past midnight local time and stumble to baggage claim, exhausted from a long week. All Erin wants to do is get home and sleep.

Holtz yawns outside the airport. “Split a cab?”

Erin hesitates for only a second. “Sure.”

Once they’ve said goodnight to Abby and Kevin and they’re tucked inside a cab and speeding away, Holtz leans over. “Mind if we swing by HQ so I can make sure the building didn’t go boom while we were gone?”

“Is that…a possibility?”

“Baby, with me it’s _always_ a possibility.”

Erin tries very hard to not read in to any hidden double meanings of _that_ statement.

“Sure, we can make a stop.”

Holtz bends forward in her seat to tell the driver.

They’re mostly silent on the drive. Holtz makes a bit of small-talk with the cabbie. Erin’s just trying to not fall asleep.

They pull up in front of the firehouse some time later. Holtz unbuckles and opens her door. “You coming in?”

Erin shrugs. “Sure.”

They pay the cab driver and take their stuff, because they’re not sure how long the pit stop is going to last. Holtz hums as she unlocks the door, and Erin rubs her eyes. They step inside, and Erin realizes just how much she missed the firehouse while they were gone.

The building is quiet around them except for the low whir of the containment unit and the machines upstairs. Holtz checks the readout on the containment unit.

“Everything look good?” Erin asks.

“Well, I could’ve sworn we left twelve ghosts here, but there’s only eleven…”

“Holtzmann!”

“Kidding.”

“Oh my god. That’s not funny. Especially after the [April Fools fiasco](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10517544).”

Holtz turns to her with a grin, then slowly her smile fades until they’re just standing there staring at each other with so much hanging in the air between them. Everything that happened in Mexico, every ounce of residual sexual tension from being interrupted so many times.

Erin coughs. “Well, we certainly are alone.”

“That we are.” Holtz smirks. “Good thing we made that not-here rule, huh?”

“Right. Good thing.” Erin exhales. “Umm…while we’re on that subject…”

“Yeeess?”

“I was going through a hard time while we were there. With Patty getting married, you know, and everyone saying I was uptight, and Derrick’s uncle thinking that I was Kevin’s mother…”

Holtz chuckles.

Erin swallows. “Anyway, I just wanted to say that that night…it meant a lot to me. So thank you.”

Holtzmann flits closer. “You know, that night meant a lot to me too.”

“Really?”

“For sure. And not because I was in a bad place, just because…you’re Erin Gilbert and you’re super hot.”

Erin laughs. “Oh my god.”

“What? It’s the truth.”

“You’re so ridiculous.”

“You keep saying that like you’re surprised.”

Erin smiles and shakes her head. “Anyway, thanks again, Holtz. Really.”

“Aw, bring ’er in.” Holtz extends her arms wide.

Erin lets Holtz embrace her tightly in one of her signature, back-thumping hugs.

Holtz releases her and raises a hand for a high five. “Alright,” she says as she slaps Erin’s hand, “I’m gonna run upstairs to check on my babies real quick, and then we can take off.”

Erin nods. Holtz bounds up the stairs two at a time to the second floor and Erin watches her disappear at the top.

Something inside Erin is screaming at her that the conversation isn’t over. Her feet carry her over to the stairs and she makes it up three steps before coming to her senses and turning back. She walks back into the middle of the room and bites her lip.

She hears the squeak-thump of Holtzmann sliding down the firepole and whips around.

Holtz strides over, slightly manic and jerky in her movements. “I’m still on Playa _time_.” Her voice is rushed, desperate, hoarse. “Does that count?”

Erin is out of breath. “Oh, _that_ counts.”

“Thank god,” Holtzmann says.

Then they collide, and Erin throws her arms around Holtz’s neck as their lips meld together, and as Holtz’s hands find Erin’s waist, Erin realizes just how much _better_ this is when they’re sober. Well, mostly sober. Her drinks on the plane have mostly worn off.

She moves her hands to cup Holtz’s jaw as they kiss frantically, frenzied, making up for lost time.

 

Somewhere in the making-out, they’ve moved so Holtz is pinned up against Kevin’s desk.

“Should we—go back—to my place?” Holtz gets out as Erin works her way down her neck.

Erin pulls back and Holtz can see her swallow. Her eyes are dark. “I don’t want to wait that long.”

Holtz breaths heavily. “That’s fair. Reception couch?”

Without responding, Erin pulls them in that direction. They land with Erin on her back and Holtz crawls up over her.

“You think the ghosts are watching?” Holtz says.

“Shut up and kiss me, Holtz.”

 

Abby arrives at the firehouse the next morning even though they’ve technically told the mayor that they’re off duty for the day. She just can’t wait to get back to work.

She’s surprised to find the door unlocked, but then she realizes that Holtz is probably already there. If there’s anyone who’d be just as eager to get back, it would be Holtz.

She steps inside, and stops dead.

There, on the reception couch—the couch that _clients_ wait on—are Erin and Holtz tangled up in each other and asleep. Mercifully, they’re dressed in pajamas—their open luggage sits nearby—but the ground is strewn with the clothes they were wearing yesterday, so there’s no ambiguity about what they got up to last night.

“Oh my GOD,” she shouts.

Both of them startle awake, and Erin falls to the ground with a loud thunk.

“Abby, my dude,” Holtz croaks weakly, “fancy meeting you here.”

“You are paying for that couch to be shampooed. Immediately.”

Erin groans from the floor.

“I can’t believe this,” Abby says. “I can’t.”

“Sorry, Abby,” they chorus, the smug shits.

 

Patty comes in to work the first day after getting home from her honeymoon relaxed, rested, and content. It’s been the best two weeks of her life, all of it. She couldn’t have asked for a better wedding, and the honeymoon was perfect. They lounged around the resort, went on a few more tours of historical sites, went ziplining, and even snorkeled with sea turtles. It was everything she could’ve hoped for.

She steps into the firehouse and spreads her arms wide. “Patty’s back!” she shouts.

Abby comes hurtling at her at top speed and throws her arms around her. “PATTY. Thank god.”

“Whoa, it’s only been a week. The place crumble without me that easy?”

“You’re the very foundation we rest on, Patty,” Holtz says cheekily as she comes over from the containment unit.

Erin joins them as well, suddenly looking nervous.

“Patty. Oh, Patty.” Abby grips onto Patty’s shirt. “Do I _ever_ have something to tell _you._ This has been _killing_ me.”

“Stop being melodramatic,” Erin says.

“It’s a little earned,” Holtz stage-whispers.

“Would y’all stop yappin’ and just spit it out?”

“Okaaay,” Abby says. “Prepare yourself.”

 

…

 

“THEY _WHAT_ NOW?”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy we reached the end! I hope you guys had as much fun reading this fic as I did writing it!
> 
> Now...don't tell anyone...but I have another fic in the works already. Oops. I'm supposed to be finishing off the semester, not starting new fics ughh...but I just wrote my LAST EXAM OF MY UNDERGRAD (!!!) and as of tonight I will be submitting my last project (if you follow me on Tumblr you'll know how big a deal that is) and I'll be done my degree!!!!!!!! And then I can start working on the new fic again :D
> 
> See you next time!

**Author's Note:**

> Full disclaimer: I know even less Spanish than Erin and I'm relying on Google Translate, so if anything doesn't make sense please let me know! Unless Erin's the one who's saying it. Then it's not supposed to make sense.
> 
> Come follow me and my amazing beta Jillian on Tumblr at [jillbert](http://jillbert.tumblr.com) and [lil-peanutt](http://lil-peanutt.tumblr.com) respectively! Say hi! I don't bite!


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